i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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