I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
