'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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