he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
