It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
