This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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