I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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