how can u be prego again
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
