4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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