Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
