ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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