I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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