hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
