i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The air was thick with penises
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
