friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
