She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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