Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
The Olympian is in my bed
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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