not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm at about main and main street
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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