just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
