I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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