So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
