Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
