She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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