there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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