i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
