Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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