Don't you send me to vm
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
