I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
