So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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