Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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