anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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