He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
