Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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