i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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