And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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