I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My vagina just clenched in fear
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
