Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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