the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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