i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
