This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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