Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
