im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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