The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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