so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
