that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
