Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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