I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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