I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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