we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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