he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
